Salem

A couple of old friends came to visit me from the midwest over wintersession break which led to doing a bit of local exploring. On the last day we went to Salem, MA of witch trial fame. It was a pretty drive, and the town itself was pretty cute and, according banners and melting evidence by the roadside, had just recently had a choclate and ice sculpture festival. The highlight, however, was the Salem Witch Museum. It seems there are a number of museums peppered throughout Salem, including a Witch History Museum, a Pirate Museum, and a Witch Dungeon. This one was chosen at random, and I am so happy that we went. It cost nine dollars, but was totally worth it. It consisted of a theatrical portion in a dark room with large, elaborate dioramas with costumed mannequins and spot lights on every wall. Each portion would light for its portion of the story, told in stereo in and old, theatrical style by a deep voiced man. Words cannot express how delightful this was to watch. It was genuinely well done, but had enough cheesiness in it to make it amusing as well. In the center of this dark room was a huge red glowing circle with all the names of the victims of the Salem Witch hysteria written around it. It was a little creepy. The second part was a basic education of what "witches" throughout history have been. This also involved more mannequins (thank god) as well as a strange timeline and and entire wall that had a picture of Joseph McCarthy and the words "Scapegoats" along with several examples (gay community and aids, anyone?) written out in bold letters. I highly recommend a trip to this museum if you are in the area as it is a little odd look at history, and anytime you bring dioramas and and mannequins into the mix history is immediately amazing. This is a close second to the Scotch Whiskey Museum in Edinburgh, which was maybe the best 12 quid I ever spent.

It was also nice to be by the ocean and not completely freeze the way we had earlier that week when we went to Newport, RI. Last but not least, here is a bunny from a while ago for my mixed media class.

                                                         Gouache + Colored Pencil

Growing

So, it's been a little while. One thing I've discovered is that I'm not very good at multitasking. I should get better at that. Anyway, my only excuse is that I got so consumed by the summer (working A LOT at a restaurant and pet sitting) and then the working A LOT of the semester that I simply forgot that I wanted to chronicle things in this way. However, to be totally honest, this past semester has not created much that anyone will want to see. I think that this semester was basically a kick in the ass, one that was direly needed. I think too much and do too little, and the result is a lack of confidence that I felt pretty sharply in contrast to a group of students who have been forced into drawing drawing drawing, just draw don't think so much draw. In a way, I wish that I had had that experience, but regret is a silly and nonconstructive thing. I can only move forward and moving forward entails a keen focus. In all honesty, I've never really kept a sketchbook before, but I have decided that this should become a fairly large part of my process. I imagine so much up in my mind and I can see it so clearly there that when the time comes for me to translate that to imagery I haven't really worked it out physically enough (especially with the new very short time constraints given at RISD) to always convey it successfully. I have learned a lot, and sometimes it was painful, sometimes my lungs were in my stomach, but with a week out to clear my head and get some sleep, I feel very optimistic about my future. I'll post images of the few pieces I feel happy about in a week when I'm back in Providence, as I didn't really manage to get decent pictures as I was readying myself for the airport, but I will leave this amazing webcomic I found by Emily Carroll that really boosted me up creatively as OH MAN it is ATMOSPHERE! It is actually quite similar to the sort of comics I want to do, so I was pretty excited to see it.

For serious, I love the colors, I love the rendering of the characters, I love the attention to detail. I've never really tried to do stylized figures, but my interest in comics is pushing me to try it. I think I'm going to start slow by doing exaggerated facial expression studies and exaggerated body pose studies and then hopefully at some point figure out what my stylized figures will look like. I'm going to guess they're going to be on the more realistic stylized side, but I'd really love to be able to blow out those facial expressions and pump up that drama or humor.

Bon soir!

Happenings

Hmm. Well, a lot has happened. I moved out to Maine in early April, got a couple of jobs, and have managed to pull out of my year and a half long "oh, I just dropped out of the University of Illinois with naught but 12 credits to go, but I'm transferring to finish up at Rhode Island School of Design, but they haven't accepted me yet, well the accepted me last year but I didn't have enough money or where-with-all then, so I have to apply again for this fall" stage of my life. This was not a very fun period, for, as many had pointed out to me, RISD is an exceptionally difficult school to get into, and what will you do if you don't get accepted. Fortunately, I never have to think about that in a literal sense! Now, it's "I'm moving to Providence in early September, and I'm starting school on the 15th, and I'm majoring in Illustration!" Much shorter and less embarrassing and more specific. Also before people find out that I have like, five hundred credits already they aren't all like, WTF are you doing, girl?

So I'm pretty psyched. I haven't gotten much art done this summer for, as my mother warned me, it is difficult to work jobs that have nothing to do with my art and have the mental or physical energy to actually do other work. Especially when it's two jobs. And one of them is in a kitchen. And you're not in your studio environment half the time because the other one involves living like a hobo, moving from house to house, dog sitting. I hope to rectify this next week, however. We'll see. On the plus side, I may get a few days break from ramen next year.

Finally, I noticed that I did not post the cover for the new version of The Sheep Child that I had been working on. While it's not the greatest thing ever, I'm pretty pleased with it because I managed to get the type to interact with the painting I did.

Ultimately one of the things I have to learn at RISD is how to make paintings and drawings and mixed media pieces by hand and then add type elements that look natural and interact well with the images in Adobe CS. I don't think I'll get that in my first year--I'm taking Illustration I, Drawing I, Painting I, and a mandatory art history class my first semester. But all my liberal arts and gen eds transferred, so I won't have to take any liberal arts classes unless I want to, which means more room for studios. Mostly I'm excited that somehow, even though I didn't pick them (the transfer office of a small school is surprisingly bureaucratic) all my classes start after noon and I get a three day weekend. Whoo!

Also of note: thank you to Christina Rodriguez for prompting me to do this far past due post. I got a copy of Storm Codes, and it is gorgeous!

Hmm

It has been a while, I see. I guess I went through a bit of a . . . creative death for a few months. This last semester at UIUC has not been good. Frankly, I'm ready to close this chapter of my life and move on . . . by going back to my hometown to study for a semester at NIU! Hahahaha! Oh wow. Can anyone tell how awesome I am?

Anyway, I did get into RISD, but I am going to defer for a year. And because they don't let transfer students defer, I mean I am going to reapply next year with a really amazing portfolio. They gave my a $15,000 scholarship, which pretty sizable and makes the whole thing doable, but I'm hoping that if I step up my game next year I'll get even more. Also I really feel like I'm not in a place right now where I can handle the stress of taking a lot of hardcore studio classes, having to worry about living in a new place far away from anyone I know, and getting a good part time job. I need a year off. I've been in school for 17 years for goodness sake!

So this summer I'm living at home, but so are Maddi and Vanessa. It'll but just like high school, only now we can all drink! Whoo! My goals to get back in the creative groove consist of the following:

• Start sketching. I had to do three drawings for my RISD application, and while I was doing them I realized that I hadn't actually really drawn since the end of my sophomore year of college, or something like two years earlier. Doing rough sketch outs of what goes where for the first part of a painting is not drawing. It is part of the painting process, which is completely different. So I will do at least one fully developed sketch a day of whatever I feel like sketching. I want to become really adept and fast at drawing. This skill set has always slowed me down because I'm perfectly capable of it, it just takes me a little longer than it should. Annoying.
• Make at least two master painting copies to work on my technical skills. These will probably be Turners, a John Singer Sargent, and maybe an Odd Nerdrum.
• Rework The Sheep Child so I've actually finished a freaking project.
  
• Work and finish this new book project that I've been discussing with Nick and Lali. They want to write a text about Chinese Tea. I like tea, and also have an idea for a cover, so I hope to do all the graphic stuff for the book and then we can publish on Lulu.
  
• Work on illustrating my mom's short story. Hopefully if I can do all of these things I will have not one but three completed books to put in my portfolio for my RISD application next year. Whoo!

Here are some of the paintings I am hoping to copy:

JMW Turner--The Burning of the Houses of Parliament

John Singer Sarget--Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose

I am tired.

Dean from Gilmore Girls and Marica Gay Harden, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

This appears to combine schmaltzy Hallmark Channel Christmas movie with Thomas Kinkaide. I think a teenage crush just died. *sigh*

OMG!

So I am just amazed at all of this. I can remember just a year ago saying, "If there was going to be a first black president, it would probably be a republican." I'm so glad that I was wrong. Granted, if stuff hits the fan in four years, it might be different for a woman, but I'm not going to think about that horrifying possibility right now. Anyway, just from having done all the research I've been doing now and over the summer on the foundings of slavery and the civil war era really makes this moment extremely emotional for me. It's bittersweet because of a huge loss across the board as far as gay marriage was concerned, but I guess we can't have the first black president and gay marriage in one night. What are we, the Netherlands? I still can't believe there was such a huge historic event happening just a few hours away from me in Grant Park. I really wish now that I had been there. I guess I'll go out of my way to go to the rally for the first woman president that I actually want to vote for.

As an ending note, here is Obama's amazing speech, "A More Perfect Union", from after the whole Jeremiah Wright brouhaha. This was what really sealed the deal for me. He spoke to the American people about the tense and complex issue of race like we were adults. Like we were people who could move in the right direction, who could understand these issues and really turn things around. Like we could see that things aren't black and white. Like we could try to understand, forgive, and heal.

WOOT!

In honor of my brother, I'm letting this wonderful song speak for a nation:



What a night! Now just to finish it off with a defeat of prop 8 . . .

Hey!

Who wants to watch the season premiere of 30 Rock a week early?

Poor Rosie!

I was pretty aghast to find this photo shopped horror of a classic piece of Americana feminism, generally because people are trying to pretend like Palin is a feminist when in reality she is anything but. She is a woman conservatives like because she touts every ideal--particularly gender ideals--that they hold dear in a pretty package that really has no substance.

We can do what, Sarah Palin? Charge victims for their own rape kits upwards of $1200? Create abstinence-only sex ed programs while criminalizing abortion, even cases of rape? Ban books in libraries? Start faith-based wars?

With each new thing I hear, the more disenchanted I become.

On Holiday

I'm going to be in the UK until the 27th. B'ham, Bristol, London, and Edinburgh.

Moving is Horrible

I think I am this robot (click to enlarge):



A la Gunnerkrigg Court.

So I've been packing up my apartment. I have entirely too much crap, but it's a little tough not to when you're an artist, especially when you watercolor, oil paint, sew, knit, build, print . . . I will always need a ridiculous amount of supplies. My new place is pretty amazing though. It's a house apartment in an old Victorian. A huge step up. I'm really looking forward to decorating it.

Aw Shit.

A la John Cambell.

If I wasn't so sure I was going to be rich someday, I would be getting headaches all the time thinking about how much higher education costs in this country.

New Morning

I went on a walk this morning just as dawn was brimming over the horizon. It's really on these walks that I totally realize what a disgusting area I live in. You can't escape the beer cans and mud and patchy grass. It makes me sad. I walked all the way from my apartment to the Krannert Center for Performing Arts because I knew that I could climb up to the roof there and all the buildings kept interfering with with my view of the sun. All I could see was a golden haze obscuring tree leaves. Campus was empty, only three or four people dotted the sidewalks and they walked with a purpose, most likely work. By the time I got to the roof of the Krannert, the sun was a huge blinding orb in the middle of the sky. I had missed it. I was still early and lovely, but the moment of it cooly arching itself over the tip of the treeline had passed. I suddenly realized that there was no way I would ever be able to make it by myself--walking alone when it is still dark that late holds danger on an abandoned campus, and I would have to start twenty minutes or so before dawn to witness it.

Perhaps I will find someone to go with me.


I picked two dandelions. When I smelled my hands after I went back to when I used to crush them when they were yellow into a paste while I was playing house. This was at Littlejohn Elementary, in the old rotting wooden playground equipment that they've since replaced with hard primary colored plastic.

Prairie

ii. She Knows

Brown waves of dirt lurch and toss; the farmers
plant crops in long, parallel trenches. Her curtains’
green vine blue paisley print winds, reminds
her of water and flood, which is where she treads
each morning when she sends loose a shimmering
pair of pigeons to roll and return by dusk, a descent
reminiscent of all these flown depths.

--Laura Koritz

I am a midwestern girl who grew up on flat fields and flat ground. I know the starkness of a bare tree alone on a field of dust and snow in midwinter. I know rusty chain link fences, the vastness of a frothing sky, and the slight dips of ditches before tall golden corn. I am grateful for this simplicity. Even when I move to Maine in six months I will be grateful for it. And in Maine I will be grateful for the indigo deep ocean, the jagged high rocks and the moments on the side of the road that pass by so quick you miss them if you're not paying attention.


I am grateful that I am able to find the sublime in these moments.

Frack you, UIUC

©Alison Shaw

Blerg. What a gross day. So they posted course schedules for next semester and it turns out that the studio class I really wanted to take are scheduled at totally impossible times. For example, Ninth Letter, the class that is all about the literary arts magazine here where the students basically illustrate a story or essay and which sounds so up my alley is from 9-11:40 Monday/Wednesday. Guess what else is at that time? My mandatory and one section only studio class. So I emailed the teacher in charge all "Wtf??" and she was all, "we didn't mean to exclude studio majors, it was just the best time to meet with the creative writing people". So basically I cannot take the class. At all. Which sucks. A lot. Because there is no book arts any more because Bea is leaving and the University couldn't give a crap about it so they're not hiring anyone new in that field. Printmaking is barely available, and not available at all next semester. They're just totally getting rid of any technical/crafts classes that don't have anything to do with design. This really pisses me off because I'm honestly pretty bored by conceptual art and like more tactile art than graphics classes. So I was really annoyed for a while that I was going to have to just take random studio classes that would have nothing to do with what I'm planning to do in the future because the University is going in a different direction from me when I realized that I need to do more. So I checked out RISD's site to see what they offered aside from just a studio art major because I'm sick of listening to blowhards say blowhard-y things during crits and I found out that they don't offer a master's degree in illustration, but they do offer a bachelor's degree in illustration. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to get a second degree in illustration at RISD. They have so many amazing classes like, Watercolor: Intro to Medium, Printmaking Techniques for Illustrators, The Magic of Books, Picture and Word, Master Painting Techniques, and The Collaged Image. Basically it looks fawesome. I talked to my mom and she said a lot of my stuff should transfer (hopefully) so I could get to the good stuff right away and it would only take 2-3 years. Then I could start a career as an illustrator and work my way up until I'm writing and illustrating my own books and novels. I mos def want to get into kid's books, too. I've been looking up loads of children's illustrators and the poor kids are getting crap these days. I mean, seriously, what the frack is junk like this:



Just cause they're a kid doesn't mean they wanna look at cartoony crap. There's so much gross cgi stuff and junk that anyone cranks out. I want to bring real beauty and depth and humor (sometimes, not in my current project) back to illustrated books. Those are the books I still love to this day. I've decided I don't want to be a gallery artist. That seems dull to me. All the making paintings about the same thing over and over is just blah.

Speaking of paintings, I have a new favorite artist. His name is Odd Nerdrum and he is a weirdo that I would never want to meet but LORD can he paint. I found this GIANT book with like, a bagillion of his paintings + details called Themes at the library and I've been scouring it, often with other painting people, ever since. I think the other day Jordan and Paul and I look at it for like, an hour. It's that cool.

Some of his work:



Girl with Red Hair detail



Bathing Icelandic detail



The Kiss



Barter Detail



Boy with Twig



Return to the Sun



White Summer Portrait



White Summer Portrait detail



Woman with Child (haha! That baby's head totally cracks me up!)



Profile

Glah!!! There are so many things I want to do, but I feel like I have to teach myself everything!

I have to go to RISD. I just have to.

Agnes Ma makes my life

Quote of the day: "I must say, my last few lungs have been quite pleasing to the eye."

Yay Agnes! I'm so excited for you!

Also of note: Today I got a real job with real hours! I will be working at the Oak St. Library Facility fixing up and rebinding torn, wet, and mistreated books from the libraries around campus. Supposedly UIUC has the largest library in the United States aside from Harvard. They recently acquired their 10 millionth book. They have amazing facilities and I'm really excited. Thanks to Christine who helped get me the job. I start Tuesday.

Maine and RISD

Well, school's started up again but whatever about that. I'm making a book this semester, so we'll see how that goes. Anyway, the last seven days of my break were occupied with going to the beautiful state of Maine to visit my auntie Caroline and Tish and their four dogs (Rosie, Sky, Strider, Molly) and their two cats (Little Bit, Sandy Bit). My mother has always claimed these animals as my cousins in lieu of human cousins. Anyway, we first stopped off in Providence, Rhode Island to check out Rhode Island School of Design (RISD). There was a graduate studies lecture at 8:45 that I went to that was somewhat informative but also ridiculously boring so I skipped out a little early and we explored the campus on our own. The area of Providence it's in is actually pretty cool, it reminded me of a smaller, more compact Chicago. They have a trolley system and there are hills (that was a little San Fran, actually) and it's right next to Brown University which is, you know, all ivy league and such. There are nice little houses with apartments right on campus, and best of all? Their logo is pretty kickass.
Imagine that on sweatshirts and mugs in pretty colors. The plus side of an all art school is that the artist is on the forefront of the school's thoughts. We don't get the Mad Max building with bats and ceiling tiles falling all over the place and a wireless plan never. We get nice big facilities that are very secure and pretty. There is also a printmaking MAJOR which I'm psyched about because you KNOW that means their printing lab is stocked. I might even get to *gasp* take another class and fully figure out photo emulsion silk screening. They also have this year long program which teaches you how to be a better teacher without actually getting a teaching degree, which I would take advantage of because one way I can make good money before I become published and wildly successful is by being a professor. It's not my ultimate goal, but if I do it I want to help kids out in the best way I can and be the best I can be. There's nothing worse than a shitty teacher. I'm pretty generally stoked about it, actually. The only major downside is a price tag of $32,000 a year. I'm not planning on going for another five years at least, so I think I'll apply a year ahead of time so I can find out what sort of scholarship and assistanships a poor white girl like me can expect. I'm not getting $60,000 dollars in debt, that's for sure.
Anyway, I didn't take many pictures, but here is the reason I didn't want to leave Providence until after January:

Who can resist Liza?? Someday I will put on a musical of Caberet at Ol' Gaffers and I will get Liza Minelli to play the part of Sally Bowles if it's the last thing I do. I don't care if she's got vertigo and she's 90.

The rest of Maine was great. I always love visiting Auntie Caroline and Tish. We hung out with the dogs, went to the L.L. Bean headquarters in Freeport that's open 24 hours a day in case you need a flannel shirt at three in the morning, and Auntie Caroline and I went to see Atonement which was playing everywhere there even though it was playing nowhere in Illinois. I'll write up a review on it later, but it was brill. We also went to see the Andrew Wyeth exhibit in I forget where, but there was this irritating lady who followed us round and kept telling us we had to stay two feet away from the paintings even though we weren't touching them and they were under glass. The whole point of going to see artwork in person is so you can look at the details, lady! That was cool, though, he had some really stunning watercolors that were pretty inspirational. It was funny, there was this painting that I recognized as one that had always been in the Hillside, a restaurant that my family frequented during my childhood. I had always quite liked it but only then realized that it was a Wyeth.
Andrew Wyeth, Braids, tempra on paper

His paintings work best when they are haunting and dry, dark and subdued. When you can see how he painted in some parts and not at all in others. This is why I particular like his watercolors more than his temperas. Even still, there is something about this painting. She is a Nordic woman, a little rough but full hipped and fertile. She lives in snowy lands.

Anyway, that was fun. I really like it out there. It's near the ocean (they're twenty minutes from a great rocky beach) and the landscape is so different from the midwest. There are hills and marshes and forest everywhere. It's rugged and beautiful. I talked to them and it looks like I may move out there for eight months or so and save up some money working before I travel and head to grad school. I'm training right now for a career, not a job. There is no job for me to fall into like and education student falls into teaching or a med student falls into being a doctor. I have to work my way up there and find out exactly what I want. To do that I need more school. I think I have a strange path in comparison to a lot of people who will be looking for real jobs where they have a ladder to climb instead of schilling coffee to save up for more school. I'll figure it out.

listening to: Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack--Dario Marianelli

Creeper of the Year

Creepers are everywhere, guys. Some are easy to spot: they lack any social niceties whatsoever and so get hitched with the nickname "Creepy Joe" or "Creepy Tom". The worst, however, are the ones who manage to come of as charming to the otherwise unaware. They permeate society and try to make their brand of creepiness acceptable.

And so, I award Joe Francis, the entrepreneur behind the Girls Gone Wild videos who commercials haunt my viewings of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report with Creeper of the Year. While I certainly protect his first amendment right to videotape girls with low self-esteem, he is also misogynistic, completely unstable, and most likely a rapist. It also doesn't help that he made a website for himself in order to give himself a new family friendly image. His take on the situation? "It seems that my chief sins have been 1) having way too much fun and 2) having discovered a way to make money doing it." It also features a FAQ section where he is asked questions like, "Would you consider yourself the new Hugh Hefner?"

An extremely interesting and perverse article on the matter here: "Joe Francis: 'Baby, Give Me a Kiss'" by Claire Hoffman of the LA Times.

Coming in a ridiculously close second? A blog post calling itself a parable by the name of "Just Love on Her" and its myriad of comments. *Shudders*

Oh Politics

What is going on??

Thanksgiving Break AT LAST

Port 2 Port Press has put out their beautiful 2008 hand cranked calander which I will not be investing in because of England trip and saving up for a car.


This is, however, what I aspire to. I'm going to put out my holiday cards after this week (a bit later than should happen, I suppose, but still before December) and see how those sell. If all goes well, then this spring I will start work on a 2009 calander to be ready for next November.

Thank goodness class is off for a week. I desperately need it, not just because I love to sleep in, but also to revise my essays, start another two essays, and finish my next short story. I'm going to get as much writing done as I possibly can because when I get back, it's all studio all the time until my final crit on December 3. I'm going to do something fairly insane to my painting before I leave just to get it out of its slump . . . I'm at the point where I really feel like I don't know how to paint anymore. This is good because it means I'm challenging myself, but it's also super frustrating. I just hope that I get a breakthrough with it and that I'll love it in the end. Right now I just don't love it. I know I love a painting I do when I just can't stop looking at it and it makes me feel really proud and happy. I am not anywhere close to that feeling.

Thing today that did make me happy, though it was a bit premature? Altgeld Hall playing Christmas carols after my last class as I was walking to the financial aid building. I was also kicking around crinkly fall leaves at the time, so it was little weird.

Thing that made me upset: the knowledge that tv, my precious tv will not be showing anything new for awhile. I will sorely miss new episodes of The Office (Jim and Pam were going to have dinner at Jan and Michaels!), 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and House. Seriously, just give the writers what they want. How are they even arguing? It's ridiculously obvious that the writers should get paid.

To tide us over:



listening to: Sufjan Stevens--Songs for Christmas (Yes, I know it's too soon. GD Altgeld Hall . . .)

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Spooky, scary . . . boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.